Just Wondering

Do you ever find yourself wondering why we look at people? Or why we look at things for that matter...I do. I find myself in awe of colors, shapes, form and the aesthetic pleasures that surround me everywhere. This can be a gift, and a curse because I constantly find myself being observant of people's looks, and of course the simple worldly explanation for this would be my being shallow, or superficial, even judgmental. But I ask your patience as I explain myself. I don't believe this habit of mine to be that of bad character, or learned habit, rather a tool which I use, just as a photographer uses a lens, to capture essence. To see beauty and creation, to capture light and color, movement and gesture, shape and form. It is in this argument that I currently find my mind resting, because I seem to look at things differently than most people around me. I can't help but wonder if it is something God has done to make me more aware, and more appreciative of his artistic and magnificent work.

On a less serious matter, I do beseech your consideration. When a lone person is seen just him or herself no apparent relationship, no friends near, or not supervising a child...do we not often wonder why the solitude? What makes this person venture out on their own? What causes their bravery or rather cowardice? Or better yet, when introduced to someone seemingly "normal" and yet unattached, do you ever wonder why that is? What could be the reason for their independence? A recent break-up? A personality problem or just a lack of personality at all? Girls for instance might wonder, does he know how to be in a relationship and if so is he not in one because he's too lazy to put in the effort or because he's afraid of letting her down. Is it because he doesn't know how God created us, for companionship, to be incomplete without one another and how he should be the leader of the relationship? Does he have some horrifying habit that makes your skin crawl? Is he struggling with a sexual preference battle? Or is he, just simply and like you, searching for that one perfect match, for that puzzle piece person who will balance him in every way, bring light to his darkness and sense to his chaos.

These, my friends, are some of the questions I find myself trying to answer as I brave this single life-style, it is more difficult, more trying, and most of all more heart-jeopardizing than I had ever imagined.